You know that I have been struggling, and I finally reached my breaking point on Friday night.
I was seriously let down by an important person in my life and everything just began to crumple from there. All the plans that I had made, all the goals that I had set, every hope and dream that I had dared to have in the last six months went to hell.
I was distraught to the point of being sick and in the morning I began to pick up the pieces amidst an almost constant stream of tears. It's still difficult to tell if anything will survive, but I am going to try and make it all last for as long as I can.
But I'm scared.
Needless to say, 2015 has royally sucked and as November progresses, I am attempting to look forward to January with the fervent hope that 2016 will be much better. I decided that as part of the healing process, I am going to try and start working again, even though last time I wrote I didn't think there would be much use in that. But, I don't like being idle and staying active does help the healing process. And, I'm going to start looking at jobs and applying to at least one a week. I can't begin to tell you how desperate I am for a change of scenery. I think a different environment would do my body and soul wonders.
I think that I know what I want to do with that self-portrait I've been working on. I made new paper for it yesterday. Hopefully, I can press it, cut it down to size, and stitch the edges. I've got a lot to do this week on other projects and with the way I've been feeling emotionally, I feel like that is a reasonable goal.